


Quiet Pride

by chalametsberm



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-17 23:16:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14841084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chalametsberm/pseuds/chalametsberm
Summary: Elio and Oliver go to Pride. Kind of. Inspired by Liv aka terxture on tumblr and a shit ton of other, smarter people. Enjoy.





	Quiet Pride

“Elio, where are you taking me? I don’t know where we’re going, but it’s not in the right direction to the pizza place you were telling me about.” Oliver was nervous. He wasn’t dumb, he knew what today was, in fact, he was more than aware of what it was, and he knew how important it was to Elio. The bad thing was that it was equally important for him not to go. He was tired of trying to blend in, considering his size, it was impossible to do anywhere, let alone at this huge gathering of people he had tried to avoid associating with his whole life. 

Elio just smirked at him and took his hand, forcing him to walk quicker. Oliver always preferred taking the subway, but Elio liked to walk. He liked to be with strangers, watching them walk around and go about their day, wondering what they were doing or thinking. Oliver didn’t mind being surrounded by strangers, he just preferred when they were more predictable, which they generally were on the subway. 

This conversation had started months earlier, over the phone. When Elio was telling Oliver all about his plans to move to the city to go to school, it came up in conversation. Elio brought it up. Oliver would have never brought it up because it wasn’t even kind of on his radar. He just knew that it was a time when he should avoid going on the subway at peak hours because the trains would be full of drunk people and he was never ready to deal with that mess. Elio brought it up because he had complained that he had never had an experience like that before and he didn’t want to miss out on the city life. Oliver didn’t want to go. He didn’t even think that Elio would still want to go, because Oliver had sacrificed so much for him, by the time that Elio had gotten to New York, hopefully, he would have learned that. 

Then, it was another phone call. This call was in mid-April. Elio was bustling with excitement that his parents were allowing him to go to the city early for school and stay with Oliver. Oliver that had just barely avoided getting married the year before and who Elio had only been able to keep in contact with over the phone and with letters. Oliver loved getting postcards from Elio because it felt like their special thing. Oliver never felt like he got enough from a small postcard, but that was how he always felt when he wasn’t actually physically with Elio. Nothing else was enough. That’s how he knew to call it off. That’s how he knew that he was willing to face the wrath of his parents and her family. She ultimately was fine with it and found someone rich to marry, someone in the stock market, and she seemed happy enough. His parents never got over it, and that was why he never told them why he took an impromptu trip to Italy to visit Elio that winter. Why he flew back and only called Professor Perlman to tell him that he needed to come back to speak to Elio in person. He had never taken such a big risk in his life, but it felt worth it. He wasn’t told not to come by Professor Perlman, and he was sure he heard Mafalda and Annella Perlman on the line as well, and they seemed pleased. 

But now, it was June. Elio had just finished moving in and he turned around and faced Oliver, wearing a small rainbow pin, smiling shyly. Oliver hated that Elio knew exactly what he was doing. Oliver had avoided this for the past years that he had lived in the city. The problem was, he never knew exactly why he was avoiding it. He never had a problem with gay people or anything like that, but he just never wanted to see any of that up close. Then, after the summer with Elio and the ending of his on and off relationship with his ex-fiancée, it became clear why. He should have known, but it was embarrassing to be scared of anything at his size and age. Of all things, he shouldn’t be scared of going out in the city and being with the person he loved more than anything. 

Elio seemed to see the look of fear in his eyes. “Calm down, okay, I just want to go get food, I’m not going to make you go to the parade. I would never do that to you.” Elio walked over and kissed him. While he was still close, he whispered, “one day, I hope I can do that in public.” And then, Elio walked away from him, gathering his things to go out the door. Oliver was frozen in place. Was he really that bad of a person that he wanted to keep his private life private? He thought about all the girls he had dated in the past. He never tried to hide the fact that they were dating in public. If anything, he would flaunt it. Especially when it was Chiara and him in front of Elio. Oliver ran his hands through his hair. He didn’t know what the fuck he was going to do. He wanted to do what Elio wanted, but he just didn’t know if he had it in him. 

Elio turned back to him when he was almost out the door. “You coming?” Oliver just nodded. He didn’t know what he was going to do. Elio had too much faith in him and sometimes, it felt like he was carrying the entire world on his shoulders. He started to feel that when he had to tell Elio about the wedding. And then, somehow, when he came back to tell Elio that he wasn’t getting married, he felt it even more. He felt that when he told Elio that he wanted him and only him that he was taking the most amazing life in his hands and he was so, so scared that he was going to ruin it. He had never been this worried about a girlfriend before. He used to think that it was because Elio was younger than him, but that explanation held no weight on his mind. It was because, without a doubt, there was no one in the world that Oliver cared about as deeply and as thoroughly as he did about Elio. Elio was his person that he thought about all the time, and that was hard for him because there was no telling if Elio felt the same. Even if he did, even if he said it out loud, he wasn’t sure he would ever believe him. Oliver just couldn’t see himself being loved in the same way. 

Oliver walked up to Elio and put his hand out, leaving Elio a little bit surprised. Oliver was trying, he really was. He was trying to be “out and proud” but fuck if it wasn’t so hard. He didn’t think that anything would be hard about being with Elio and because it was his fault, he hated it even more. He loved Elio, even though he hadn’t said it in words yet, and he was the one holding them back. He was the roadblock and even though he had realized it, it still fucking hurt to try to understand. Elio accepted his hand without question. Oliver almost hated that. He wanted Elio to make a comment about how Oliver was a fucking wimp and how he couldn’t do anything with Elio because he was a grown man that was still scared of what people thought of him. He was scared of what strangers and people he knew thought of him and that terrified him. They were holding hands until he heard someone walking down the hallway and he started to let go, but Elio held on tight. Oliver looked down at Elio and Elio gave him a meaningful glance. “Just to the elevator, okay? We can do this.” Oliver took a deep breath. 

The man that rounded the hallway was someone he had recognized as a neighbor he had seen around before. Then, before he could even blink, there was someone else rounding the corner. A man’s voice shouted, “hey! Wait up!”. The owner of the voice rounded the corner and came around to hold the first man’s hand. He looked at where Oliver and Elio were walking and smiled at them. 

“Happy pride. Be safe out there.” He took a pause and must have seen how scared Oliver looked. Elio might have looked scared too, but he couldn’t tell. “We support you, no matter how you want to celebrate.” Oliver felt Elio squeeze his hand and he almost started crying right there and then, but he had things to do, he had places to be. He didn’t know how to answer them, because the man had been so on the money so he just nodded and smiled. 

“Maybe we’ll see you around sometime? We should all have dinner!” Elio offered because even though he might have been scared, he was ever charming and won them over right away, if they hadn’t been on his side already. Oliver had never met anyone that didn’t immediately love Elio, and if they didn’t he didn’t trust them. What he didn’t realize was that he gripped Elio’s hand tighter when they said that. When they got to the elevator, Elio turned to Oliver with a shocked look on his face. 

“Oh my god. You were jealous!” Elio smacked Oliver on the arm. “I can’t believe that you were jealous of those two men that were clearly a couple when they were also obviously checking you out!” 

It was Oliver’s time to be shocked. “Are you out of your mind? Everyone in the entire world is in love with you. I don’t know how you don’t see that.” The elevator door opened, and Elio dropped Oliver’s hand. 

“Not everyone.” Oliver looked at his hand, confused, he didn’t want to stop holding hands, but it seemed like it was Elio that did. “You made it to the elevator. We don’t have to do this anymore, remember?” 

“What if I want to?” Oliver was trying to be brave, he really was, and Elio looked like he might believe it. He wanted to be the person that Elio deserved, he really did. When they got onto the street, it was fucking packed. There were people everywhere and they all seemed drunk off their asses. Oliver could tell that Elio knew that he was lying, so he gave up. He went numb. He tried his best to not feel anything around him because that was the way that he had gone through life before. Or at least that was how he went through life before he met Elio. He hated that he was going back to this, but with the huge crowd, he didn’t know what else to do. 

He looked at Elio next to him, and he looked blown away. There was so much love and light on the streets that it just made sense. He fit in here. He really fit in anywhere, when Oliver thought about it. He didn’t know if he was envious or proud of that, but he knew that it was something so uniquely Elio that seeing him in action made him happy. 

Elio turned to him. “I’m hungry. Let’s get pizza.” 

Oliver nodded, he was relieved, Elio had a game plan at the very least, and it didn’t involve marching through the streets forcing strangers to accept Oliver for who he was when he himself wasn’t even there yet. Elio took his hand to drag him and he just let it happen. Strangers on the street were seeing this and seeing Elio’s pin and acknowledging them, and not that they were wrong, per say, but Oliver could brush it away by thinking about the fact that it was crowded and they didn’t want to lose each other. 

Oliver didn’t know where they were going. He knew they weren’t going anywhere fast, but it was incredibly slow going, and they didn’t seem to be going anywhere near any of Elio’s favorite pizza places. He had decided that he needed to have some regular spots as soon as he moved there so that he wouldn’t feel so alone when Oliver had work and school stuff to do. Elio stopped in his tracks and Oliver finally looked around. They were in the middle of the parade. Well, they weren’t in the exact middle, they were closer to the edge, but they were in the middle of the route. On the side, behind a tiny line of caution tape, he saw why Elio had dropped his hand and not the other way around. Protestors. People holding up all kinds of signs that said things from mundane to incredibly vulgar and cruel. Oliver felt like he had to be the adult because it seemed like Elio was panicking. Sure, it was Oliver’s first Pride, but he had seen these assholes here before. He grabbed Elio’s hand and walked him aggressively in the other direction. Elio just lets it happen, he was too much in shock to do much else about it. 

Oliver didn’t know what to do except walk them further into the crowd at the parade, which is something that he never saw himself doing. He was still holding Elio’s hand when they got to safety, and he told himself it was for him, but it was for himself just as much, if not more. 

All they were getting was nice looks from people and that’s what he didn’t understand. He wasn’t used to people being so open to him at first sight and it was taking him a while to get used to it. Well, he wasn’t sure if he was going to get used to it during this one day, but he was going to try not to hate it as much, that was for sure. Oliver was surprised that he felt safe. He was surrounded on all sides by people that didn’t hate him, and more than that, he was with Elio. Elio, who, for some reason, had agreed to take Oliver back and went the extra mile to come study where Oliver was a grad student. Oliver could have never seen this coming two summers ago. He was so, so happy that he hadn’t let go of Elio’s hand. 

While all the hubbub was going on, Elio was taking it all in. Oliver decided to take that moment to lean down and whisper in Elio’s ear. 

“I love you.” Oliver really hoped that Elio had heard him because it was scary as hell to say it once, and he didn’t know if he would have the guts to say it again. Elio looked up at him, not believing or not having heard what he said. 

“What? Are you serious?” Elio looked like he had just been told he had won the lottery. All Oliver could do was nod. Nod and try to keep the huge smile off of his face. He decided maybe he could say it again, just in case. 

This time, he didn’t whisper, he said it at normal volume, “I love you.” It wasn’t a huge public moment or a lot of PDA, but it was special, it was his and Elio’s and he was surrounded by strangers that he already loved, even if they didn’t know it yet or never would. Elio tugged his hand interrupting Oliver from looking around. 

“I’m hungry. Let’s get out of here.” Oliver laughed with his full body, not scared anymore of being in the crowd. He was happy to be there, more than anything. While they were walking to avoid the madness, Elio turned back to him. 

“Oh, and I love you too, goose.”


End file.
